Structure is something I’ve always struggled with and when I became a parent my lack of structure tortured this poor babies soul. He wanted it so badly but I thought that my lack of structure was my “bohemian side” when in fact what it really was–was my inability to follow through. I was like a wild animal when I left home at the age of 18. I had absolutely no structure didn’t want it and was angry anytime someone tried to give it to me. I repelled schedules, always late to wherever I had to be, and fired from many jobs because of it. Now I was twenty-six and my baby needed me to give him structure and I didn’t know how to do that.
He was super important to me and being the best mom ever was what I desired so I learned more about making myself accountable and showing up to what I committed to doing. When I began to create more structure I began to see better results. My baby slept more, my husband was happier and I was less anxious. Right as I thought I was getting a grip on life, I opened my own business and became pregnant with baby #2. My anxiety was heightened, my household was chaotic and I lost control over all the things I needed to do. By this point I had been a wellness coach to my clients for over five years and I was obsessed with them They were getting results I wish I had, but for whatever reason that rebellious side of me still existed and I didn’t want to hire someone to tell me what to do like I told my clients what to do.
Something happened to me that changed me forever. My best friend was diagnosed with Brain Cancer and I became part of her caretaking crew. It was horrible. I took it so personally. I couldn’t find my grounding. I was so anxious that I jumped at any noise and my drinking became a part of my daily rituals, more so than I should’ve had. I remember running so fast that I would have to stop so that I can take a breath. I couldn’t believe my friend, a mother of a 6-month-old baby who was so healthy and happy was dying of brain cancer. Meanwhile, at the same time my company, the one I built with all my will was starting to fall. It needed me, she needed me, my family needed me, most of all I needed me.
The rebellious girl in me was fighting the fact that she needed someone she can count on and at this point everyone I had around me needed me. It was this whole codependency. I kept people who needed me around me so that I would always be needed, yet I was the one needing and there was no one there that I could lean on.
Then finally after my company closes and she passes away. I took a break. I met a woman who became my coach. She sucked!! She promised me the world in making my new business idea successful. And after I signed up, she was basically barely there for support. She became my lesson learned on the kind of coach I would not want to be, however, because of her I reached out to another coach, a spiritual coach. What I learned from the one sucky coach is that I didn’t want to do the work in business, I wanted to learn who to hire to do the work so that I can be the master of what I do and hire the masters of what I need. I did need a coach, however. I needed someone to remind me that I matter. To build my mindset to be in line with what I want to achieve.
Getting a coach was lifesaving. I call her anytime I need accountability and I need clarity. She’s a spiritual coach. There is so much noise and distractions that it’s easy to lose sight of what it is that I want. With all the responsibilities I have, it’s easy for me to forget what it is I need or want. I decided to get a coach when I realized I couldn’t do it alone. I had to find a way to get support and it was different than a conversation with a friend. And no I wasn’t able to do it alone, I tried.
The need for coaching is so much more now than ever because of the demands on us to take action on our health and our careers. There is an epidemic of diseases all around us and there’s an economic pressure looming over the world. These are just some of the reasons we need a coach. Coaches keep us accountable, they acknowledge us, they give us perspective, allow us to have someone to share our ideas with. and they allow us to be vulnerable.
The investment in getting a coach may seem like a cost you’re not sure you want to spend but in the end, it may cost you a lot less. It definitely saved me tons. I am now cautious on hiring a new talent for my business or how I approach family confrontation. A coach isn’t a therapist, they cannot promise your financial success or an amazing relationship and they can not tell you-you are healed from any possibility of getting sick. So why invest? Mainly because you want more for yourself. You know that without someone there to support you and make you accountable you will not be able to follow through or you will be more reactive or you may be less motivated.
All the noise that’s around, the social media, the media, the personal stories, the products the books, and all the many people sharing what is to them your road to success. I remember thinking where do I begin! I realized I begin with what is most important to me. My total wellbeing is what means the most to me. If I am feeling confident and healthy then I am able to get things done. When I have a strong foundation of my rituals and keep my body and mind strong, I am able to know what needs my attention and how to approach it.
There is no way I can stand up and sell my product or my service if I am not in a good state of mind. I am selling health. I am also a mom, a wife, a daughter and a friend. How can I be there as a leader, a mentor if I myself am struggling with my mindset? With the most recent studies on health proving that our gut affects our actions, then, of course, I am going to take the course action needed to keep good gut health. My coach helps me to be accountable to my commitments. She helps me to create a plan that builds my confidence and she helps me to remember what it is I am meant to do.
I worked with a manifestation coach, two business coaches, and a health coach. The one I found most valuable to me is my Spiritual Mentor/Coach. She has helped me with so much more than my spirituality. She has helped me believe that I can so I will.