Gabrielle Bernstein, Maryanne Williamson, Louise Hays, Wayne Dyer, The Secret and the list goes on…

I did everything they told me to. If they told me to burn sage, Ujjayii breathing, reading, surrendering, meditating, writing, yoga, believing, changing my negative thoughts, starting everyday with gratitude…the list goes on. I did it all. And I was pretty consistent. There was one very important thing that I learned to do after the fact, I learned to trust the journey and not control the outcome. This my friend, is no easy task. There are bills to be paid and responsibilities to be met. How did I finally figure out how to do this and why this was most important for me.

It has taken me my 45 years of life to realize that I am not great at following others. I need to do what works for me. However, before my life took a total 180 in my idea of what the future holds for me, I did what everyone told me I should. I read the books, I surrendered, I did healing work, I worked, I served, and I worked some more. I gave up alcohol for 120 days, 21 days, 90 days, 30 days. I did food cleanses for clarity. I exercised for survival. But everyday that passed I was falling deeper and deeper into what seemed to be a rabbit hole. I wasn’t getting stronger, instead I was getting weaker, more anxious, and losing a friend and company I loved and believed in with all I had in me.

Last year, after the perfect storm of closing my company and losing my best friend after a two year battle of brain cancer, I had to know what it felt like to surrender. I had to truly open my eyes as wide as I could and start paying attention to all that had happened. Not just in the last three years, but in my 45 years.

Who was she?
Why was she here?
What happened to her that she doesn’t know her worth?
Why doesn’t she believe in herself?
Why does she fight so much?
Why is she such a bully on the outside when she is hurting so much on the inside?
What happened to her?

That is when I truly surrendered to the journey of healing. Everything that came my way before then was not going to be who I am to become. I am to be enlightened, a giver of love and receiver of love. I am to live in non-judgment, non-harming gratitude and contentment.

If you want to know the truth, I am different everyday. I don’t follow the 12 step program for recovery, I don’t do the same mantras everyday, and I definitely don’t eat healthy all the time. I have read and continue to read lot’s of my favorite stories to inspire me, however it doesn’t lead me to follow Kundalini and eat kale on a daily.

What it does is inspire me to create my own practices to help keep me on track to living a purposeful life. I want to be a millionaire. I want to be healthy. And I want to be happy with my family and life. So I do the practices to get me there that I built for me and have now been proving to work. I am no longer surviving or hiding. In fact I am open to listening and sharing from a place of honesty.

There is no magic. The magic comes when you do the work, when you show up for your life and most important when you are able to trigger the patterns that are keeping you stuck. You are not limited. In fact you are limitless. It’s why you are here. Because you have greater potential. More than you ever imagined.

After all I learned, all I experienced and all my education my time is best used to coach clients. And the thing that has worked for me, the only thing is Detoxing. When I hear that word, it feels liberating. Like I am finally letting go of what’s old and toxic and moving into what’s new and healthy! Mindset and body weight alike. I know from hands on experience, if you only work the clients body, their success is limited. It takes the whole body and mind approach.

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